CROWDCTRL

Why did you die? Was it so much to ask that you drink the hard water and function as any other normal tree would this month? Slurp it up, distribute evenly, waft that evergreen scent throughout the house like normal?

Instead, I find myself with eight billion needles over the floor and the droopiest tree ever to have a present underneath. My chinese chicken ornaments have fallen off. The still full basin of water threatened to tip with the weight of this sad pathetically depressing dead tree.

And now, you cruel tree, you sit behind the back porch in 15 degree weather getting the same gelid treatment you so recently and bitterly dished, having forced me to disrobe your ornaments and lights and replace you with that stupid and charmingly believeable and yet utterly dispiriting fake tree.